I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
