Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
