and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
