break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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