have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
