I just made out with a guy for $7.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
