His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize