I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
