i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
