BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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