Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
