Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
