You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
