I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
