Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
porn star boner night. come get it.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
How does one acquire holy water?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
