i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
