my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
