I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
