some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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