i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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