Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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