I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize