i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
