Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
