i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
