Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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