i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
