Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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