Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
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