you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
