there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I intend to get homeless drunk
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
