Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
