the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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