She's JV to your varsity
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm bleeding and have questions
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
