I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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