She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
