You made me cry and you don't even care
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Randomize
