I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize