i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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