So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
