i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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