she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
