hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
