She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
