I must be too annoying 4 u.
D3 body, D1 cock
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I smell like Dick and happiness
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