never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
that is very illegal...i love you.
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