..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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