I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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