Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
