why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
