I'm going to jail i love you
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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