her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
