I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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