OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
