I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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