He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
