it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
