I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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