im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
