We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
