I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
We need to get me chipped asap
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
