But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
You're so nebulous sometimes
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
